Warning: this is another rant. Sorry for so many, but I need the outlet again...
I have realised why I hate Christmas Day.
Christmas isn't about the presents; it's about spending time with your family and people you love. It's about those silly memories everyone has of their grandad falling asleep, of someone getting drunk, of someone dropping the alight Christmas pudding and all that whilst surrounded by people you love.
That's why I hate Christmas Day. No-one really wants me to be there.
Because my mum's boyfriend is the biggest dickhead to ever grace this earth, if I go to my mum's, he refuses to go and she gets pissed off. If I don't go, she misses me and, again, gets pissed off with me. My dad invites me out of pity because of the aforementioned situation. My grandma is roped into Christmas with the other side of the family, and my Nan is with my auntie in Kent. My boyfriend wants me to go one minute and then doesn't the next minute and was probably only inviting me out of pity in the first place, which is hardly making me feel wanted, and as a general sweeping statement, the whole situation is making me feel like absolute crap.
No-one really wants me there for Christmas. My decision lies between where I go, knowing that no one really gives a shit, knowing that whatever I do my mum will be pissed off, and knowing that as a consequence, I will have a shit day anyway.
I cannot think about it without wanting to burst into tears.
I am starting to realise more about why I hate Christmas...
6 weeks today and the crap will be over for another year, thank goodness.