Tuesday, 13 November 2012

Another Christmas rant.

Warning: this is another rant. Sorry for so many, but I need the outlet again...

I have realised why I hate Christmas Day.

Christmas isn't about the presents; it's about spending time with your family and people you love. It's about those silly memories everyone has of their grandad falling asleep, of someone getting drunk, of someone dropping the alight Christmas pudding and all that whilst surrounded by people you love.

That's why I hate Christmas Day. No-one really wants me to be there.

Because my mum's boyfriend is the biggest dickhead to ever grace this earth, if I go to my mum's, he refuses to go and she gets pissed off. If I don't go, she misses me and, again, gets pissed off with me. My dad invites me out of pity because of the aforementioned situation. My grandma is roped into Christmas with the other side of the family, and my Nan is with my auntie in Kent. My boyfriend wants me to go one minute and then doesn't the next minute and was probably only inviting me out of pity in the first place, which is hardly making me feel wanted, and as a general sweeping statement, the whole situation is making me feel like absolute crap.

No-one really wants me there for Christmas. My decision lies between where I go, knowing that no one really gives a shit, knowing that whatever I do my mum will be pissed off, and knowing that as a consequence, I will have a shit day anyway.

I cannot think about it without wanting to burst into tears.

I am starting to realise more about why I hate Christmas...

6 weeks today and the crap will be over for another year, thank goodness.

Sunday, 4 November 2012

Feeling positive.

Doesn't it suck how quickly time flies when you least want it to? I mean, where did half term go? Time has gone so quickly, it really doesn't feel like I've had a week off at all and the things I have done have been much less relaxing than I would normally care for in a weeks "holiday". But, actually, it has done my attitude the world of good so perhaps the change has been as good as a rest? I feel much more like my usual positive self, the "usual" self I haven't seen in quite a few months, and feel like everything is on the up.

I have to say, as ridiculous as it sounds, one massive change for me has been the content on my iPod. I mean, there have been some great new albums out recently but, seriously, everyone needs to cheer up a bit! Yes, Ellie Goulding and Of Monsters and Men, I'm talking to you: your music is beautiful, but my goodness you don't half put a downer on my mood. I have had to ditch you all for cheerier music matter or the radio because otherwise I may have gone completely insane.

Plus, I have a social life for the coming tow months! Miracles do happen...

So, bring on the new half term: Bring me more chances to show what I can really do and bring on some fun! I will even endeavour to get into the Christmas spirit, despite my usual scroogeish nature and the upcoming rubbish Christmas Day which will be the normal anti-climax to the whole shebang.

Enjoy the next half term fellow teacher bloggers, and to others who exist outside of the academic calendar, enjoy what is left of your working year :)

Thursday, 1 November 2012

It's November.

Today is November.

Christmas is in December.

STOP WITH THE CHRISTMAS ADVERTS IN NOVEMBER. And I swear to God, if I hear a single Christmas song in the next month, I will go nuts.

Why must people insist on dragging Christmas out? Admittedly, I am an absolute scrooge; I hate the stupid, expensive, commercial reasoning behind my being forced to spend a whole week of my life with my family who I only get on okay-ish with at the best of times. I hate spending my money on things that people don't actually want because I have to, I hate the fact that everyone else always gets excited because they have an awesome time whilst I am going to be going home to a week of boredom because there is nothing else to do, and, most of all, I hate the fact that this stupid season gets dragged out for months before, as if it isn't bad enough anyway.

I hate the fact that my Grandad won't be here this year.

I hate that Christmas makes me feel really alone.

Generally, I hate Christmas: an expensive, pointless way of making people feel like absolute crap.

Rant over.