This last fortnight has been really tough, I've been pushed to the limits in every sense of the word and this weekend I felt the cracks starting to show. I now see the effect 16-hour-days are having when I look in the mirror, I am starting to go down with something and I've lost a stone since September. I'm trying to be the best teacher I can be, make new friends whilst keeping in touch with my old ones, keep up with my family whilst my Grandad is going through his treatment and my Nan feels lonely, as well as be a girlfriend, sleep and eat.
Something had to give, obviously, and given that list I still don't regret my decision that the least important element of my life was my relationship. I thought that for two or three weeks I would have the support and compassion of my boyfriend and that he would be understanding and patient in the knowledge that this wouldn't be forever.
What I did not expect, however, was to have to endure 2 hours of abuse in which I was told I was working too much (because obviously I just waste most of my time and make extra work for myself), NEVER tried in our relationship (and whilst I admit that has been true for a fortnight, that hasn't been true for the rest of the time), was selfish, a chore and didn't care. This continued until he was satisfied he had reduced me to the point of breakdown before he finally chucked me.
I was doing fine until today. Yeah I was busy and stressed and the cracks were starting to show but with a 4-day-week coming up I thought I was getting there and then suddenly I get this.
Men are basically just giant 5-year-olds. Selfish, self-absorbed and always on the verge of a tantrum if the universe doesn't revolve around them.
So back to the single life. Not that I have any time to enjoy it...