Tuesday, 19 June 2012

Seriously, ladies, why do we do this to ourselves?!

Men are actual assholes.

Now, this may not be a revelation to most of you, but it is to me. Don't get me wrong, I've had my fair share of idiot men treating me like rubbish at times, but last night I saw what other people talk about.

To cut a long story short, my Grandad is ill. Really ill, and I'm going home this weekend to see him because, realistically, it will be the last time he is in any fit state to see me as he is already on a lot of pain medication, if not the last time at all. So, because of this, I rang my boyfriend and asked if, on Sunday night when I get home, he would come over and spend the evening with me to cheer me up, keep me company, give me a cuddle etc after a bad weekend. He said no, the football is on.

And the worst thing is? After sharing this story with a couple of friends at school, their response was neither shock nor horror. Nope, something I can only describe as acceptance. This is, apparently, "what men do".

Seriously girls, since when has this kind of behaviour been acceptable?! Why is it ok for guys to treat us like that, to talk to us like that, and more importantly, why do we let them? Why do I know that I should tell my boyfriend where to shove it (because, let's face it, we haven't been together for long enough for me to be putting up with this crap), yet don't? Why do we all just shrug it off as "what men do"?

(Not that I shrugged it off, I was actually upset. And then angry. And then settled on a combination of the both.)

But, let's face facts for a moment here girls: this is why they do it - because we don't call them on it. We don't tell them to piss off when they treat us like crap, therefore making the behaviour 'acceptable', and we all write it off as 'typical'. Typical doesn't mean it is ok. This is really not ok, and we deserve better than this, girls, we really do. We wouldn't get away with treating our boyfriends like this, so why is it ok for them? Fuck double standards, it's not good enough in this day and age.

Moral of this story: worship the ground I walk on and treat me like I'm the most important thing in the world or fuck off.

Your call, assholes.

Oh, and, if you are a guy and reading this, for the love of God, learn from the mistakes of your fellow man. And do not think that a box of Jelly Babies will suffice as an apology. I mean, are you all this thick?


Allie said...

After hanging up the phone, you should have driven over to his house and punched him directly in his face. Or balls. Your choice.

Great post, btw!

Michaela {au naturel design} said...

Very sorry to hear about your Grandad. Do not worry about that silly boyfriend of yours now, because if he's worth anything he will be there for you later, and if he's not, then you won't have to worry about him at all. Most guys don't try to be assholes, they're just not designed the same way we are. It would be easier if when confronted they kept up that asshole-like behaviour and said they did not care one bit, however most of them come around and just don't realize how important things really are to us until we start freaking. If you are new to this relationship, maybe he just doesn't know how to deal with that sort of situation, and doesn't think he'd be any help...better you be with family. I hope he comes around for you. If you forgive him, maybe you can snuggle together while the football is on. Either way, tell your Grandad how special he is to you, even though I'm sure he already knows. You'll both be in my prayers.

Aaron said...

First of all I would just like to say, that I'm very sorry to hear about your Grandad and my prays will be with you and your family during this difficult time.

Secondly, thanks for stereotyping men under one category. I'm not going to deny, I've done my fair share of being an asshole in the past, however I think its just an automatic reaction to how guys deal with difficult or sensitive situation.. and at the time they usually don't think about how this affects a woman. Maybe this has got something to do with men not being in touch with there emotions as much as women.. (or maybe we are just self-centred beings :p ) I'm not trying to make excuses for guys, I'm just trying to provide a perspective from a guy's point of view.. In terms of what your BF did, I personally would not have done what he did, I hope he realises what he did, and makes amends :)

P.S. This probably isn't coming across the way I hope it will... Sigh.. men are terrible explaining themselves too!

Just Me said...

Spreading blog love from Mingle Monday. Thanks for stopping by my little corner!

I really hope that your weekend goes well and that your BF realizes that this is the type of situation that his company is needed in. Sometimes guys just need a wake-up call to realize that these things are more important than football!

Thoughts are with you and your family through these difficult times.

Hayden said...

No, we are not all this thick.

This sort of behavior is simply insensitive, regardless of gender, and it should be addressed whenever it occurs.

Lena said...

I think you're right! Sorry you had to go through that and I hope you found some comfort after seeing your grandfather. Right now I am dealing with something similar in my relationship. Stick up for yourself always!

K said...

Oh my gosh, I am so sorry to hear about your grandfather.

All guys have issues, just like us girls do. But it sounds like your bf was a complete jerk. I hope you told him where he can go.

Hi, I'm Kerri said...

I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather, it must be a terrible time for you and your family, but I hope you get through this.

At first I thought to myself "My boyfriend wouldn't do that!" and then I thought..."No...he wouldn't do that...but he would definitely be running late.." I think he would eventually show up but he would watch the NBA first. If it were any other time of year or if it wasn't an important game/his team was losing, then he would drop everything and help me through it. He's run late for work a few times simply because I needed him to cheer me up or something along those lines. Although it is different for me because I live with him.

I think that girls have become complacent. If a guy thinks football takes priority, no matter where you are in your relationship, you have every right to be peeved.


Anonymous said...

Spreading love from Mingle Monday.

Sorry to hear about your grandfather. You & your family are in my thoughts & prayers!

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