Monday, 1 October 2012


I have never, ever felt totally worn out before. That is, until today.

Yes, I've been the sort of tired when you can barely hold your eyes open, but I've never felt this drained of energy before and been in a position where you just have to keep powering on. And yes, I've felt ill before, but I've never felt ill purely because I have absolutely no energy left. I can almost feel myself getting more and more ill with each passing hour, as if my body has nothing left to keep the manky child germs at bay.

I am tired like I have never known before. I've become an emotional bag of crazy as a consequence and the combination of the two are not doing much for my career. I cried to my headteacher today for taking a table away from my classroom (ok, the story has slightly more to it than that but of course I can't break confidentiality) and so, generally, am making myself look like a complete idiot. All because I'm tired.

My 'New Years Resolution', the one I set at the start of the school year, was to have a work-life balance this year. It is, however, more stress than it is worth. It means I'm trying to do everything - be the sort of teacher I want to be, have a social life and take up a new hobby - I literally cannot do everything and it is completely crushing me.

So, I have had to take a step back this evening. I literally walked away from it all, walked home and have been sat on my sofa, moving only to retrieve a crappy (but yum) ready-meal from the microwave and to go and have a nice long, hot bath. Kindle, laptop and rubbishy telly. My headache has gone, I'm not on the verge of tears and I can actually face the thought of going to school tomorrow.

Much better. However, I am going to bed now...


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