Monday 16 January 2012

Cynicism

What if my being cynical is the very thing which is stopping me from having the things my cynical self is convinced doesn't exist?

What if, because I don't believe in soul mates or any of that crap, I will never find one because I will settle? Maybe that's why I settle in relationships which have never really worked for a variety of reasons. What if relationships aren't actually hard?

What if I don't have relationship issues and I don't hate being vulnerable, but rather I have never been with someone who I'm comfortable being like that with?

What if I continue to think like I currently do and end up settling, never being able to truly open up and spend my whole life wondering "what if?"

I don't know why this occurred to me today, but it did. Maybe I need to change my perspective...

2 comments:

Hayden said...

I obviously don't know your entire situation or relationship history, but I hope that I am not too bold in saying that I think (perhaps "hope" is a better word) that you are on the right track here.

I, for one, don't believe that relationships have to be difficult. Everybody always says that they require constant work, and I agree with that. What I don't agree with is that constant work is inherently hard work.

Anna said...

I had this kind of moment like you are having now a couple of months ago and then everything started to change. For my part what hampered by my many expectations and ideas for how a relationship to be. Well, mildly speaking - expectations are crap. They just complicate your emotions and they are sometimes what make relationship difficult.

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