Monday, 16 January 2012

Cynicism

What if my being cynical is the very thing which is stopping me from having the things my cynical self is convinced doesn't exist?

What if, because I don't believe in soul mates or any of that crap, I will never find one because I will settle? Maybe that's why I settle in relationships which have never really worked for a variety of reasons. What if relationships aren't actually hard?

What if I don't have relationship issues and I don't hate being vulnerable, but rather I have never been with someone who I'm comfortable being like that with?

What if I continue to think like I currently do and end up settling, never being able to truly open up and spend my whole life wondering "what if?"

I don't know why this occurred to me today, but it did. Maybe I need to change my perspective...

2 comments:

Hayden said...

I obviously don't know your entire situation or relationship history, but I hope that I am not too bold in saying that I think (perhaps "hope" is a better word) that you are on the right track here.

I, for one, don't believe that relationships have to be difficult. Everybody always says that they require constant work, and I agree with that. What I don't agree with is that constant work is inherently hard work.

Anna said...

I had this kind of moment like you are having now a couple of months ago and then everything started to change. For my part what hampered by my many expectations and ideas for how a relationship to be. Well, mildly speaking - expectations are crap. They just complicate your emotions and they are sometimes what make relationship difficult.

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