I can see clearly now my brain has gone.

I still remember singing that line over the real lyrics in primary school singing assembly and it still makes me laugh.

In all seriousness, I am much clearer on things now than I was yesterday. Thank you so much to everyone who commented and reassured me that I was at least, in some parts, right and that I should not settle for someone who was settling with me... if that makes sense.

I had a discussion with him last night about it all, and he was upset that I had been upset by it. He told me that we don't need words and names to describe how we're feeling because he knows that he likes me more than he has ever liked anyone before, that I'm the only person he's ever wanted to see as much, the only person he has ever enjoyed sleeping in the same bed with and the only person things have ever felt this easy with. Whether I believe him or not, he knows that he loves me and that even if I don't believe him now that he's going to convince me.

He is so right (although don't tell him that I said that). We're both happy, that's all that matters.

I'm more than happy. They haven't invented words for how happy I am with things so far. We just fit, we want the same things from life and each other, we feel the same things and that's what's important. Not the words that we put on things.

So, I'm officially signing my brain out of this relationship. Clearly when I over-think the things he says, I end up more confused. If I'm confused or upset, I'll ask, rather than stew on it for a few hours before asking him. He doesn't always mean the things that he says in the way they come across, so really, what's the point in worrying when there is probably nothing to worry about?

So, thanks brain. You've served me well thus far but I think we are pretty much done here.

(Maybe jump in if I'm about to do something stupid though, yeah? Don't let me ignore any red-alerts...)