Tuesday, 22 May 2012

I wish I had someone here.

Today is the first time since moving to London that I have wished I lived with someone. I suddenly feel really lonely and I wish I'd had someone to chat to this evening.

I don't know where this has come from; feeling lonely is a rare emotion as far as I'm concerned, I've always been happy with my own company or had friends or a boyfriend to spend time with. I guess here I don't quite have that yet, and even my boyfriend is an absolute pain to make plans with and very rarely has time for spontaneous plans.

You see, today, I just wanted to go out and enjoy the beautiful sunshine. Maybe a walk along the river, sitting in the park, having a cheeky cider in a beer garden or something similar. If I still lived in Devon, I'd be packing piles of marking into the car and heading towards the coast, onto the moors or even out in the garden and would have family or friends to accompany me. But, here? Not so much - my friendships and relationships aren't that well established yet that I could do that.

I suppose I'm feeling a bit homesick at the thought of a beautiful week and weekend of weather with no-one to go and enjoy it with. And it's just not quite the same to go alone, although no doubt I will anyway.

I've never felt sad in the sunshine before. It normally never fails to make me smile; it's what keeps me going through the horrible, cold winter months which I hate with an absolute passion. Maybe with nothing to look forward to for the rest of the year it suddenly means nothing? Makes no difference?

I hope the rest of the summer is better. Maybe I need to find something to get excited about after the huge emotional climax of the weekend-before-last...

2 comments:

Lisa said...

awww i am soo sorry, i know how you feel with being homesick.. i still get homesick and i only been here 3 months. If i was visiting i would hang with you. lol

Hayden said...

Hmm...

I love the winter.

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