Tuesday, 8 May 2012

Why does my life not have a 'sync' button?

My whole life is out of sync again. I'm not sure what it should be in sync with, I guess routine and normality, but regardless, it's not right.

What with Thursday being a polling day, so we had no school, and Monday being a bank holiday and the consequential timetable changes, my work feels very much up in the air and I feel out of touch with it all. I hope the rest of this week brings me back down to Earth, although I am so confused as to what day of the week it is (do bank holidays screw with everyone like this, or is it just me?) that it might take a few days.

Everything pretty much fell apart with Mr A this weekend too. I don't really know what happened, why it happened or what is happening now, and honestly, I was slightly confused about 'us' and what he wanted to begin with, so God knows what's going on there. It really got me down this weekend but, you know what, if he doesn't want to be with me then fine, it's his loss, right? And if, on the other hand, he does want to be with me then I'm ready to throw my whole self into things (because I am ridiculously, head-over heels in love with the stupid idiot), but that's his decision. No point stressing about it until he's stopped playing games/sorted his head out or whatever he's doing.

Family things are the same as usual too. I just feel guilty for not being around more, even though I'm there as much as realistically possible.

Despite all of this, however, I just know that as crazy as things are in my life right now, things will sort themselves out. I am on a mission tonight/tomorrow to sort out the things which are in my control whilst I let everything else sort itself out around me, rather than letting it all drag me down.

Life is far too short for rubbish like this.


Ioana-Carmen said...

Love your style! maybe we can follow each ohter?:X


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