My stages of singledom.
1) The initial break-up - This includes the initial upset, anger, guilt, denial, attempts to rebuild the relationship or any combination of these.
2) The "men/women are wankers"stage - You convince yourself that actually, being a spinster with a lot of cats isn't actually that bad. (I'm at this stage right now and I'm still convinced my life will be better if I'm on my own and independent).
3) The "men/women are still wankers but I still have needs" stage - Yes, I mean sex. This is when the desperate attempts to pull on nights on tends to occur, along with the dreaded one-nighters which always seem like a good idea at the time.
4) The "total independence" stage - You realise that actually, you are doing fine on your own. The desperation has gone and you've realised that when the time is right, someone will come along.
5) The "what do I have to lose?" stage - You begin dating again. Nothing comes of it, but you go out with one or two guys and are not really bothered about the outcome. Your love life settles for a few months with a few short-term relationships or the odd fling, between which you are happy to be single.
6) The "oh shit, I'm actually going to be single forever" stage - If you don't end up in a relationship out of the previous stage, panic sets in. Online dating profiles are made and standards are lowered.
7) The "I've given up" stage - This will then, ultimately, result in a repeat of stages 2-6.
Please tell me I'm not alone in this?