Sunday, 8 May 2011

Dating.

Ok, so, following the events of the other night and a looooot of texting, I now have a date for Wednesday daytime and I am panicking slightly!

Dating is very much out of my comfort zone, it's not something I have ever done given that I started going out with my first boyfriend aged 15, the second was my best friend and the third was also a friend first and whenever you read a magazine or a website there are lists of 'dos and don'ts' for dating and I have none of this etiquette established. How are you supposed to behave? How much of your true self do you reveal, or is it supposed to be the ultimate, preened, goddess-like version of yourself that turns up? What sort of questions should I ask? And how does a daytime date work differently to a normal meal? I mean, for a start, it is potentially much longer and although I don't know what we're doing yet, I get the feeling he's done this a lot more often than I have (which, lets face it, isn't a record which takes much beating) because he seems much more confident and I have no idea how to play this.

My main concern is that I've never been particularly good at conversation, I'm so scared of the awkward silences that I tend to witter away, and as for interesting conversation starters, they never come to me. I so rarely meet new people, I've had my friendship group established for years now, and the whole process of meeting someone and getting to know them and letting them in to my life is really daunting and I just feel like I have no idea how to go about that. I suppose that's born out of a lack of experience and the only way to get over that is to get out into the real world and start meeting new people, but in the mean time, am I going to endure endless awkward silences and failed attempts at functioning like a normal human being in social situations?

And in another point, how have I made it to 22 without having ever experienced this? Is it sad I've never been out on a date before? I am literally terrified, at this rate, I doubt I'll even make it out the door without bursting into tears or being sick. Lord help me...

Aaaaaah, panic! (Not my most articulate post, I'll grant you...)

The one thing I am less scared about, however is what to wear, which for some reason isn't actually stressing me out that much? Although in all fairness, when I met him I was dressed as Posh Spice with full 90s outfit, hair and make-up, so compared to that I could wear almost anything and look amazing, which is one less stress off my mind at least.

Does anyone have any tips or words of wisdom to impart? Help me!

3 comments:

Missy said...

Lucky you knowing your outfit!! That's always the thing which stresses me out! Hope you have fab time and the only advice I will give is be yourself. Don't feel like you have to polish anything and refrain, just be yourself!! Oh ... and don't talk politics or exes lol!!! Have fun and keep us updated!

Lu3Lu said...

The one thing I can also tell you is be yourself. I don't think there are any 'rules' on dates. If you follow a bunch of rules it takes the whole experience away.
Just start from 'Hi' and take it from there, you will be awesome. Just be yourself.
Have fun! and yes, keep us updated (",)

perfumeandpromises said...

Hi, I'm a new-ish reader and first time commenter!

I'm horrible at dating, lol. It's so awkward and I'm not good at conversations either so dates make me really nervous. I can really relate to this whole entry. I'm still inexperienced at dating. I didn't have my first kiss until 23, lol. I'm 24 now and hoping to get back to dating and start a "real" relationship, but it's so hard to meet guys! But since you've met a nice guy then just try to be yourself and have fun! Much easier said than done, but I think it's better to be honest and not pretend things on first dates, if that makes sense! I hope you have a good date! :)

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