Monday, 2 May 2011

Rant over.

I thought I'd write another blog today, seeing as my last post was generally awful. Part of me feels the need to apologise for the rant, but I needed somewhere to vent and I find that writing things down is much easier and more therapeutic. I suppose it's the requirement to be logical, to structure whole sentences and to explain how you feel that helps more than standing in front of a poor friend who gets bombarded with a load of swear words and repeated "argh!"s. But anyway, it's out of my system now and I've decided just to keep an eye on the situation and make sure that I am always in a fit state to deal with it, i.e. not being too drunk, always making sure I look half-decent (i.e. like I don't live under a bridge) so that if/when I meet these people from my past, they will look at me and think "wow, she's changed" and that will be satisfying enough.

So now I've let it go, I thought I'd try again with writing a blog post today, hoping something would be presentable for Mingle Monday over at Life of Meg.

Anyway, I also realise that a lot of my blogging last month was without direction, but seeing as I was having a generally boring and repetitive month I didn't have much else to say. My life recently has generally been quite boring, and whilst I wish I had more to look forward to I have another month before anything really interesting happens.

This is because tomorrow I go back to university after what seems like forever, and even though we've dipped in and out for the odd lecture, it really has been a year since we've had structured lectures and seminars with assignments running alongside. I love this bit about my course, I love the academia, the study, the stress and that little buzz you get when you find a relevant book or article in the library. And to be honest, I love sitting in the library and working with a pile of books in front of me, it feels so studious and productive. I know it's all psychological, there's nothing stopping me from working at home, but it's just not as conducive to learning. But this will be my last month of university, and whilst I do love my course, I don't think I'll miss it.

I'm definitely ready to leave now. I feel ready to get out and actually start teaching, and in a wider sense to get out into the real world. I mean, don't get me wrong, I've made great friends on my course and some who I hope will be friends for life, but there are some others who don't seem to have grown up since their first day as eighteen-year-old fresher and it's getting really tiring now. I'd like to be around like-minded grown-ups for a change, people who don't think that getting drunk on Wednesday and turning up to a 9am lecture is 'heroic' (and we've all done it, me included, but we forgot we had a seminar, in our defence) and people who actually work their hardest all the time rather than doing what they need to get by. I can't stand that attitude, I believe we owe it to ourselves to be the best we can be and if you can't even be bothered to do that then you have issues.

Ok, I'm bordering on another rant here so I shall move on and get to the point of this post.

More interesting things I have to look forward to this month.
6th: Shopping day out with the mother (who may or may not drive me mad, it's yet to be seen);
Also on the 6th: A night out with the girls! Motto of the evening: less alcohol, more fun;
11th: Dissertation deadline! So everyone else will be done and we can go out and celebrate;
12th: Going to play tennis for the first time in 4 years with someone I've not seen in 5;
19th: Presentations for a module assessment. May not sound fun but I love that sort of thing;
26th: Penultimate essay due in, the count down is on!
27th: I can start to look at finding somewhere to live in July! Aaah!

And by the 3rd of June it will all be over, the hunt for somewhere to live will be truly on and life will kick up a gear! So please excuse me if the next month is a bit dull on the blogging front, but I hope soon to have great news and happy stories to share.

Bring on the summer! 


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