A few weeks ago, I posted a letter I wrote to my ex. On Tuesday, I am actually going to give it to him. I have edited it quite a bit, after all, it was written at 2am in an insomniac state, but on Tuesday I can finally put those issues with him to rest.
You see, we've been talking a lot since graduation on Thursday and we both really want to at least salvage our friendship if nothing else. However, to do that, we need to air all the stuff that brought us down before because unless we completely break our relationship, we can't truly fix it. And I'm excited in a way because it means it will mean we can be in each other's lives again but, at the same time, I'm terrified. He is writing a letter too, which is great because it means he can get out some of the things he never told me but that does make me nervous. I mean, he has never once said anything negative about me or our relationship and whilst it was obviously not a good thing that he kept things bottled up, it means I have absolutely no idea what to expect. I know that nothing in my letter is that new to him, although he would never really listen before and would usually dismiss it, what ever he says to me will be new and probably quite painful to hear.
But it needs to be done and if it means I have my best friend back at the end of it all then great. If it means I have the person I still believe I am supposed to be with back at the end, then even better.
God I want this to work with him. I love that arrogant git so much. And yet he's actually going to listen to me for once...