This week has been absolutely amazing.
I did it. I gave him the letter. We talked and he listened to me, he understood and the whole thing went better than I ever could have imagined. We aired everything that was a problem, we talked about things we didn't even realise were causing problems and it felt great to be free of it all and to really have him listen to me. A lot of my suspicions were confirmed (mainly to do with other people butting their noses in) but the main ones were not. I know he loves me for the right reasons now, I know he always did and I'm only sorry it's taken me until now to realise it. But now it's out, we both know where we stand and at that moment, we sat in the restaurant and looked at each other, realising everything we had ever wanted and, when all is said and done, that we have nothing to lose but perhaps a whole lifetime of happiness to gain from trying again. I fell in love with him all over again in that second and from the moment he reached out and grabbed my hand, we took on a completely different relationship and laughed, joked and talked for hours.
Actually, not just hours. Days. This was last Tuesday, it is now Sunday night and I have just got back home. I could try to explain how amazing these last few days have been but they would not do it any justice at all because they have been the best few days I've had in years and suddenly, my future, as well as my present, seems so much brighter.
If only I didn't hate being at home now because you're not here.
And so the soppy, new relationship type thing starts. And I could not be happier.
Back to reality tomorrow. I have a classroom to sort...