Wednesday, 29 June 2011

Decision making and being quite terrified.

I have always known I am dreadful at making decisions.

Unless I have a very strong preference either one way or the other, I need a second person to help me make the decision, to help me balance my logic and generally to confirm/dispute any 'vague ideas' I might have about whatever I'm deciding. I knew, therefore, that this would be something that I have to get over as I move out this week and take on all responsibility from everything from furniture, bills to choosing which cereal to buy. The cereal issue, in particular, is one I always find difficult. I mean, you walk down the cereal aisle and there are so many choices, all of differing tastes, prices, nutritional value, ones which are more filling, ones which are branded, ones which are not... and it isn't something that I have a strong preference for, I like lots of different cereals, and therefore I have always been quite ridiculously overwhelmed by this ordeal.

(Slightly dramatic but it really is one of my anxiety triggers).

So it's no wonder really that I have spent nearly 3 days selecting all my furniture. And even in doing that, I needed my Mum's opinion on a few things, but finally I did manage to come to a decision and place my order today. That was an ordeal in itself, and it will leave me pretty-much housebound for a fortnight whilst I wait in for deliveries, but I actually have my own furniture. Furniture I chose and furniture I now have to live with whether I like it or not - I only have myself to blame and, that thought, I find very scary. Which is why, I guess, I find making decisions about expensive things difficult and why I usually try to avoid it.

But no more! It will be one of those things I have to do and have to get used to whether I like it or not which, let's face it, is the best way to get over stupid little hang-ups like this.

Although I do have to go food shopping and choose some cereal on Saturday...

Shall I just have toast for breakfast?

Anyway, in other news, the managing agent rang me yesterday to say they had painted every wall, door and ceiling in the flat, that it was being cleaned today by a "team of professional cleaners" and that the door and chain were also being fixed today. Which is great news, and a great comfort to see I have such pro-active managing agents who are straight on the case of any problems. He said he would ring back to confirm it had all been done and other than insisting that he goes round to personally inspect the property, which clearly was not done before, I'll finally be ready to move in on Saturday.

Just the case of university results day tomorrow...

As if I'm not anxious enough this week.


(As literate as ever...)


Oxymoronic said...

I have the same anxiety about decisions. Sometimes it even gets down to the point where in trying to decide what video game to play or movie to watch or book to read, I will just lock up and end up eventually doing nothing on the internet, instead.

It's an interesting thing, choice. Nobody would argue that more choice is a bad thing, but too much of it can definitely make things difficult.

I defer you to this lecture. It's very relevant to your post, and I think that you would probably like it.

summer-claire said...

I only had a chance to watch the first half of that lecture but it raised some really interesting points. I agree that in having more options, you become more prone to making the wrong choice or at least feeling like you have. This is why I would not go back to a restaurant which has such an extensive menu you can never really decide what you would actually like and end up choosing on the spur of the moment. Give me ten options and I will find something, give me 50 and I will have menu-envy which is such an awful feeling. But, going back to the lecture, I absolutely identify with the paradox in "freedom of choice".

And I quite often suffer in the same way as you, in that even if I select an activity, e.g. watching a DVD, I end up doing nothing online because I couldn't decide which one to watch. Although I find I'm better at this sort of thing when on my own, because if I choose something boring I have only bored myself. But, more often than not, I still end up falling into the 'sitting with the laptop' trap. At least I know how that will work out...

smallgirl said...

Good luck with the results and with the move - I hope the flat is how you expect when you go back! My landlord has just informed us that the broken TV is "not his problem", much like the broken washing machine and the broken window weren't his problem either... so I can sympathise with the house woes!

As for the cereal, I like to have two different ones in the bowl at the same time, which means you only have to narrow down to 2 choices... :)

Katie Elizabeth said...

I know how you feel.. I had the same thing happen to me today actually, but in the cheese aisle. I just couldn't decide on which cheese I wanted, what brand, etc. UGH! Why can't it be easier?! Good luck with your move & congrats! :)

xo katie elizabeth

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