Last night.

I had such an amazing night last night, we all had so much fun and it wasn't messy, just a really good laugh. It was a late one for two of us though, I got in at 6am (by which time it was already daylight!) and L didn't get home until 7 after going for breakfast with some randomers and then falling asleep in the bath. She was definitely the most drunk, I had pretty much sobered up by about 3am as I couldn't afford to drink out so was being fairly sensible, and two of the others went home earlier because they were so drunk they could barely stand. But despite all that, there was no messiness, no-one did anything they shouldn't, no-one was sick and everyone got home safely. An ideal night, all in all!

Plus, I met a veeeeeeery cute guy when I was out and spent most of the latter part of the evening chatting to and dancing with him. I usually don't get that much interest when I'm out, but L dragged me over to these guys and told them all that I was beautiful and that they should therefore all love me! She also told everyone else she spoke to that they were beautiful, no wonder she had crowds of people with her all night, but still she is so going to be my wing-woman any other time I'm out and feeling in that sort of mood. He's a seems to be a lovely guy too, we were chatting and dancing and then got a taxi back together which he insisted on paying for because it was on his way home anyway! So yeah, he seems really lovely, it definitely wasn't a 'slutty pull' or anything (as my friend calls them), had a cheeky kiss but that's about it.

I suppose it's also nice to know that after 7 years of being in a relationship that someone else would actually look at me and that I maybe won't be alone forever. I know I'm not concerned about that right now, but when I'm ready, at least I have some potential. Reassuring...

Note to self.

We all give things up in our lives that we know we should, then we forget why and do it/have it again, then a few weeks later end up giving it up again. I suppose it's human nature, you tend to forget the bad things and only the good memories remain.

But for future reference: alcohol is not something that ever has any good consequences.

Hangovers are a horrendous feeling (mainly due to it being completely self-induced).

Being sick in a club is worse than being hungover.

And I gave it up for a reason.

I think my relationship with alcohol has gotten worse since I had my drink spiked last summer. Now before you think "oh yeah right, she just got really drunk" as many do, I had only had two drinks so could not have been that drunk, I literally could not get out of bed the next day and was still unable to eat for three days. It was almost like my body was scared that whatever I ate was going to be as bad as whatever was put in my drink so refused to keep anything down, just to be sure. I still have this issue with alcohol nearly a year later, it gets to a certain point, my body decides it's had enough and I end up being sick. I used to be able to drink so much more and I could do the typical binge-drinker thing of 'drinking to get drunk' but now I start to feel borderline tipsy-drunk and my body doesn't want to know. And it seems I had completely forgotten this last night when I decided that I did indeed want to drink.

So, note to self: next time you think you want to go out and get drunk, you do not. You can't get drunk anyway, you end up being ill and as a result end up even more hungover in the morning. Just have a few or be the designated driver instead, it's much more fun. Last night was not fun, neither is today.

Although as stupid as I feel for last night, really I've come off lightly in the morning-after-the-night-before-shame-spiral. At least I haven't coupled my hangover with having to ring my boyfriend and tell him I spent the whole night kissing another guy and then add heartache to my list of ailments. Stupid girl, we did tell her at the time to stop it, she wasn't having any of it.

Alcohol really is disgusting.

Why this picture and not a related one? Well 1) Even looking at bottles of alcohol makes me feel sick and 2) It's so cute, do I even need a reason?

Enjoy the Easter Weekend everyone :)

Rocking the single boat.

I'm finally going out! It's been far too long, my life has been far too busy with boring university work and all-work-and-no-play has started to turn me insane. I've started over-thinking again, going over and over the past and finding regret in things that I shouldn't regret. That's always how my cabin-fever starts, along with struggling to sleep which I did  last night, so I'm more excited than normal about getting out of the house tonight. Fake tan done, hair washed, dress and shoes chosen, make-up lined out ready to apply, lots of alcohol ready and waiting (yeah yeah, I know lent isn't over quite yet but I've done well and achieved everything I wanted to from cutting it out) and all the girls are set to hit the town. It's not very often we all go out together so it's great when we are all there.

I've not really been out since I've been single, even when I have it's only been for a few drinks and that's not quite the same. Going out when you're single is so much more fun. I can talk who I want, dance with who I want and I won't be worrying that someone will see me talking to a guy shockhorror  and dob me in. I've already concluded through writing this blog that I have a tendancy to attract the insanely jealous guys anyway which I guess hasn't helped my case, but still, it'll be nice to be without that fuss tonight.

My only concern is that I do tend to turn into a bit of a slut when I'm drunk and single. Don't get me wrong, I don't go round sleeping with guys but I do tend to find a guy, spend all night letting them buy me drinks, dancing and eating their face before trotting off and moving onto the next one. I'm not proud of it though, I know women suffer at the hands of a double-standard whereby a guy would be a hero for doing the same thing, but as such I feel shame and guilt when I pick up randomers. Poor guys, so if you're local and reading this, stay in tonight, yeah?

Hope you all have a good night!

Ahh, sunshine, you are bliss.

I absolutely adore the sun, it's the one thing that can always guarantee a happy mood and that it will make everything look positively beautiful. I've been sat out nearly all day so far and it just makes you feel so much better in your own skin for having had a bit of sun on it! This lovely little heatwave is the perfect pick-me-up for this time of year, it's been a beautiful Easter holiday so far. Yesterday was such a nice day in particular: spent all day in the library working on my dissertation, then went and had my hair cut, then home for a barbeque with the grandparents and finally out with my girlies to the pub. I also firmly closed a door in my life and feel a million times better for it. Men, you are well and truly out of my life.

And why am I enjoying the sun as opposed to being in the library again with everyone else? Because I've fricking well done it! Just needs a read through and my reference list needs to be compiled and alphabetised, only bloody 3 weeks early... Proud or what :D Yesterday really was an amazing day, though when I got up I decided I was going to finish it and it was just the mind-set I needed.

Even my hair-cut went well despite my fear. I had a 'lob', which is basically a long bob and it looks really nice. Not sure it's helped me look any older, if anything probably done the opposite, but it's nice and manageable and much thinner now which is what I wanted. I was feeling much less nervous when I sat in the chair and I don't think I flinched or worried even once! Mostly because the two apprentices at the salon asked to watch as it was such a restyle from what I had before, so the hairdresser was talking them through it meaning I knew exactly what was going on behind me. So yeah, I didn't behave like a child and actually sat in the chair and sustained a normal conversation without freaking out. Another proud moment.

Anyway, I'm off outside to sit in the sun bliss again.

Why I love the sunshine
1) The smell of suncream is lovely
2) It reminds me of being 16 and skiving off GCSE revision to go to the beach every day
3) It's a valid excuse for laying around all day and not being productive
4) I love that sun-kissed look, it makes me feel more healthy
5) Topless men *drools*
6) Ice creams!
7) Driving around with the window open is such a nice feeling
8) Plymouth actually looks nice and not like a depressing shithole
9) Summer dresses, bikinis and flip-flops.
10) It means there's actually something to do and somewhere to go in this dump
11) No frizzy hair worries
12) Cider, particularly brother's strawberry cider.
13) The 3 B's: Barbeques,
14) Beaches and
15) Beer gardens!
16) Getting just that bit too close to being sunburnt (don't ask me why I like being that bit too red...)
17) Not having to wear a coat, even in the evenings.
18) Related to the last one, going out wearing a dress for a night out and not freezing to death.
19) Being bored of writing this because I want to get back outside... adios!

(Oh, and the best thing about sunshine at this time of year? No hayfever yet, woop!)

For lent I gave up alcohol.

I gave up drinking after a night out, stating "I'll never drink again" as we all do when festering in a hangover. And whilst it wasn't this one night alone that put me off drinking (although it did involve a lot of cringe-worthy conversations, being followed by some strange and scary men before throwing up and waking up the next morning in my ex's bed), it definitely played a part and that evening, I got to thinking.

Firstly, I pride myself on being a confident person, I haven't always been but right now I think I am - yet why do I need to have had a few drinks to take to the dance floor and to talk to random people? Why do I always rely on alcohol to give me the strength to do that? This was strike one, as this epitomises everything I don't want to become - I want to be in control, be logical and stop making the stupid decisions that have driven my life so far, and lets face it, alcohol was never going to help this.

Secondly, having been out far too much in the month preceding that night (in aid of 'rocking the single boat', as my friend put it) I realised how much it was not only dictating my actions during those nights, but it was dictating my social life. If we weren't going out drinking, we weren't going out. If we weren't meeting to drink, we weren't seeing one another. And I decided that was really sad, so I decided to take alcohol out of the equation all together. Since that evening, with the exception of a glass of champagne on my birthday, I've not touched alcohol.

So do I feel better for it? Absolutely! My skin is clearer, my bank balance is clearer (or would be if I weren't simply buying more things with that money), I've reached a steady weight again: all the signs are good. Has my social life improved or diversified? No. It turns out that drinking really did influence my social life, and this was evermore highlighted by the reaction of my friends.

This Saturday for example, I had an invite to a night out. I said yes but said I wouldn't be drinking so would give everyone a lift to save money (figuring no-one would try to persuade me to drink if they knew it meant no lift home!) and I was told they would text me if the night out was going ahead. I had no such text, so instead settled down in bed with a cup of tea and a few DVD boxsets. I fell asleep half way through a DVD and was woken up at about 4am when it finished with my laptop still glaring at me. In true facebook-adict style, I quickly refreshed the screen only to find a load of pictures uploaded by one of my friends of their night out.

Bitches. Maybe I should have text them to confirm, but they did say they would let me know and then obviously chose not to, or worse, forgot about me completely. So yeah, bitches.

So do I ever intend to start drinking again? No way, it's been such a revealing few weeks - although my social life has definitely declined, those friends I have left are the ones I can actually get along with whilst sober, and surely that's what you want/need from a friend? I can still go out and have a good time, but have more money, look better, feel better and don't have to write off the-day-after-the-night-before to a hangover.

It is a shame though, I didn't think my friends were like that...