This will make you smile.

Watch it and smile.

Happy weekend!

Feeling positive.

Doesn't it suck how quickly time flies when you least want it to? I mean, where did half term go? Time has gone so quickly, it really doesn't feel like I've had a week off at all and the things I have done have been much less relaxing than I would normally care for in a weeks "holiday". But, actually, it has done my attitude the world of good so perhaps the change has been as good as a rest? I feel much more like my usual positive self, the "usual" self I haven't seen in quite a few months, and feel like everything is on the up.

I have to say, as ridiculous as it sounds, one massive change for me has been the content on my iPod. I mean, there have been some great new albums out recently but, seriously, everyone needs to cheer up a bit! Yes, Ellie Goulding and Of Monsters and Men, I'm talking to you: your music is beautiful, but my goodness you don't half put a downer on my mood. I have had to ditch you all for cheerier music matter or the radio because otherwise I may have gone completely insane.

Plus, I have a social life for the coming tow months! Miracles do happen...

So, bring on the new half term: Bring me more chances to show what I can really do and bring on some fun! I will even endeavour to get into the Christmas spirit, despite my usual scroogeish nature and the upcoming rubbish Christmas Day which will be the normal anti-climax to the whole shebang.

Enjoy the next half term fellow teacher bloggers, and to others who exist outside of the academic calendar, enjoy what is left of your working year :)

Today, I had a good day!

I only ever seem to blog to moan these days. I no longer blog about my life or the things I see for two simple reasons: 1) My life is boring and 2) my life is monotonous.

But today, I had a good day. I felt like today was the culmination of the last year of my life and for the first time, I didn't cock up an opportunity to prove myself - I really did prove myself to be everything I thought I possibly had the potential to maybe be one day. And, before you read on and think that I'm chatting rubbish, if you are not a teacher, this achievement will probably mean nothing to you. It is pretty awesome though.

So hell-to-the-yeah, I finally got an 'outstanding' grading in a lesson observation! I didn't fall to pieces when being observed, I didn't do random stupid things that I have never ever done before but seem to save just for when I'm being watched, I did everything exactly as planned. "Faultless", apparently.


I finally proved I could do it! I knew I could, even when I was told on my final teaching placement during my degree that I should probably find another career path because I was useless at teaching, I knew that being in it for the right reasons, having a clear idea of the sort of teacher I wanted to be and putting in (a lot!) of hard work would pay off. I knew I could be that teacher, I bloody-well knew it and right now I am so, so happy. I know that this isn't it, that I have lots to do because that is only in two subjects, but still, it proves I can do it and I am amazingly happy about it.

So, a non-moaning blog post! Proud or what? :D

Shared experiences.

It's funny, really, how blogging can make you see life for what it really is. Even when you feel alone, like you are the only person feeling the way you do, it makes you realise that hey, it's not only ok to feel like this, but pretty normal! I finally caught up with my favourite blogs today, and I would have to say, 3/5 of them had blogged saying exactly the same things that I have been thinking and feeling recently. It really was a massive comfort to realise I don't need to beat myself up about having a 'down' week.

We're all human, right?

For the last couple of weeks I have been finding it hard to stay positive. Life has gotten quite hard, and not because things are bad, but just because there is suddenly a lot of pressure from every avenue of my life (work, friends, health, relationships) and this has made me feel much less like my self. For example, earlier this week I spent 48 hours crying, almost constantly, and that is so unlike me. Normally, even when I'm in a shit mood I strop around the house like a grumpy toddler before eventually picking myself up, but this didn't happen. I also found myself with no inclination to work, chat with friends, blog... all those things I usually love. Things were just not right in my life; for the first time in ages I felt truly awful.

Today, however, I'm feeling much better. Yesterday was my birthday and I had a lovely day, feeling really loved and appreciated by everyone in my life. It really made me smile, and today I have had a lot of fun meeting friends, planning hen dos and taking some 'Extreme Reading' photos for my class (I wish I could share them, I actually got to go in an Ice Cream van. Exciting!) so hopefully, just hopefully, the fog has cleared and I can go back to being my normal, sunshiney self.

I hope, if you have felt the way I have in any way recently, that you start to see the sunshine soon.

An epiphany.

I have been struggling at work recently because, with each day, I realise my vision is different to that of the school. I had decided to keep my head down and try, where possible, to do things my way but this wasn't working out too well and I have been feeling un-motivated, disengaged and generally crap and grumpy at school.

Yesterday, we had a welcome day off from the classroom routine and we went to an NQT conference. It was absolutely fantastic: each session was truly inspirational and they even had one of these airy-fairy-life-coach-type people running a seminar who was not actually airy-fairy and gave us all the boost that we needed, if only because we realised that we are not alone in many respects. (Although it has to be said, our group do seem to be suffering more than others.)

I don't think this was his intention, but in making me re-focus on why I wanted to become a teacher and what I thought teaching would be like, he made me realise that I need to keep my own ideas, that it's ok to feel different about certain things than my school does and that the day I lose sight of my 'ideal' is the day I need to leave teaching.

He shared a quote with us:

"Beware your thoughts, for they become your words

Beware your words, for they become your actions

Beware your actions, for they become your habits

Beware your habits, for they become your character

Beware your character, for therein is your destiny."

This really resonated with me and made me feel better about not agreeing with the vision of my school because, actually, the day I do start to think the way they do, that is the day I become the teacher I don't want to be. If I can't be who I am at my school, then I will move on, but I will not give up trying.

And I made new friends yesterday! A small group of us went from the conference to the pub (actually, that should be plural...) and generally had a lovely evening.

So all in all, I'm feeling back to my normal positive self today. Bring on Monday!

This week I have embraced...

I'm linking up with FTLOB's hop today (and Mingle Monday, of course!) and thinking about the things I have embraced over the last week. However, I feel that the last three weeks have been such a rollercoaster that I've had so many new things to embrace I couldn't just limit it to this week! I reckon this well and truly deserved its own list post and we all know how much I love a list post.

Things I have embraced in December

• I have embraced being single!
• Therefore, I have embraced having time to myself to indulge, do the things I love or just sit and do nothing.
• So, I have re-embraced knitting and baking.
• Oh, and blogging!
• I have embraced having a disposable income for the first time since I started university. Overdraft paid off, money back in my savings account and hitting the shops.
• I have embraced Christmas. Normally I don't really "do" Christmas as I find it boring, stressful, expensive and generally over-rated but this year I'm looking forward to spending it with my Dad for the first time since I age 5. I'm well and truly in the Christmas spirit this year!
• I've also embraced the new people in my life since having moved. I've started to form friendships with a few which extend outside of school and have something resembling a social life.
• So I guess, to sum up, I'm just embracing life! Makes a change from feeling like life is a constant battle to balance a million-and-one things, it is just about what I want to do and what I want to achieve. 

Happy, happy happy :)

What are the things you have embraced recently?