Tuesday, 12 April 2011

Spinster-hood.

Since age 15, I've always had a boyfriend. Maybe with a two-week break between at most - I realise that makes me sound worse than I actually am, there have only been 3 in that time - but that's not the point. Now I'm back on the market, I really am loving rocking the single boat! It's been about six weeks now and the novelty still isn't wearing off as my long-term single girlfriends told me it would. There's no guy in the background (other than my still-too-keen ex, but he's slowly backing off) and the focus is just on me. It may sound selfish, but after so long, I like it.

I think, above all, I love not having anyone else to think about. I can do what I want and see who I want, and my friends and family are the top of my priority list. I'm not one of those girls that shuns her friends in favour of her man anyway, but obviously it did affect how much I could see them and go out with them. Going out has always been a particular point of contention for boyfriends of mine - I don't think they understand that when girls go out together we really do just want a drink and a dance, not to find a replacement for them! I do get a lot of attention when I go out, which doesn't help, but guys I date only ever seem to remember that and not the way I tell these guys to sod off! Consequently, this breeds paranoia, so I either end up not going, going and having to send regular texts or going with boyfriend in tow. I'm so glad to be free of that. I love my girlies and I love going out for a dance! If a nice guy is talking to me, I can enjoy the conversation without feeling guilty, and I can occasionally score a free drink. It's nice and I'm meeting some fun and interesting people this way.

I love having time for myself too. Before, I'd never be allowed time to myself without a guy obsessing that it meant I was going off them/seeing someone else. I love being able to take a long bath, having time to do face masks, manicure my nails and fake tan; go shopping or to the gym/swim/sauna... It's making me feel better about myself, and I know you could turn round and say that we shouldn't let things slip when you're dating someone, but finding the time to keep the same routine is impossible! So it's nice to have me-time back, three-hour gym sessions, oh how I've missed you.

(Though that's not a great example, I've been three times in six weeks for a long session...)

And I know every single girl says this after a string of/a serious relationship, but I really am well and truly off men. I don't miss their company, I don't miss the cuddles and kisses, I don't miss the affection, the sex... I just do not miss anything about being in a relationship right now! I'm sure when the right guy comes along that I'll change my mind, but right now I'm happy being absorbed in cynicism about men/relationships/love and I can't even contemplate having to share my life with a guy again. And I'm glad, I'm at a time in my life when everything around me is moving so quickly and I'm glad that I can keep up, grab hold of my career with two hands and go with the flow. I don't see men having place in my life for the foreseeable future... especially when I have my 'bacheloress' pad in London!

So bring on the years of being a crazy cat lady, a spinster, a whatever-else-people-will-call-me. I'm 22, my life is mine and I'm enjoying the selfishness of it all right now.

PS. In writing this, I am beginning to realise that perhaps my last lot of boyfriends have been particularly paranoid? Is it just my bad luck or is it typical? Honest opinions please!

2 comments:

Lu3Lu said...

I'm so happy for you.
Sounds weird saying that like I am GLAD you don't have a boyfriend. But really I think one main important thing is just being happy, and if you are happy than that is a good thing.

Lovely to read.
Have fun girl!

summer-claire said...

Thank you :)

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