Today.

In most families, Easter Sunday, regardless of your religion, is a great excuse to get together with the family and even more so on a day like today when you can all gather outside around a barbeque. Yet in my family what happens? My Mum goes out with her boyfriend who refuses to come to our house now I live here (a long story which I shall save for another day), my brother went back to uni and my grandparents went up to visit my Dad for the weekend and meet my brother for a meal without thinking to invite me.

So I've had the day to myself, which is kind of nice because my Mum has otherwise been getting under my feet and I'm still tired with possible remnants of a hangover from Friday night. However, it still sucks that everyone else has nice family set ups whilst mine becomes increasingly dysfunctional and Jeremy Kyle-esque with each passing holiday. I know that's a bit of a sweeping statement and we all have different families, and I guess mine are OK in the grand scheme of things, I just don't quite fit in.

I do have to wonder if this will get better or worse when I move out in the summer. I mean, when my brother is at Uni he sees more of my Nan and Dad than he did before, and my Grandma and Grandad have been to stay with my Dad to see Brother twice in 9 months, which is more than I ever remember them going before. And whilst that's great, I suppose he has moved to a much more convenient location within an hour of my Dad and Nan and that won't be the case for me. But instead of being a long way away like down here where my Dad combines visits to me with visiting my grandparents, and my Nan coming to see my Mum and Uncle etc, I'll be out of the way in south east London. I get a horrible feeling that no-one will ever come to see me, and that, like this weekend, I won't even be invited to things I could have gone to. I never though that would be the case with my Grandma and Grandad in particular, my Grandma bless her soul worships the ground I walk on, but I just can't see them making the journey.

I suppose by leaving home that's one of the many things that changes. And of course I don't mind being the one to make the effort most of the time, but I would like my family to make at least some effort with me? I doubt my Mum will even come and visit, she barely bothered when I lived 6 miles away never mind 200, and I doubt my Dad will bother. I really hope they surprise me but it's not looking likely and without a car and very little time in my NQT year it will be hard for me to get to them all the time if they never come to me. It'll be the same with my friends I expect, and it'll be a shame to leave that part of my life behind but it doesn't work like that with family. I hope they come through for me.

Not that I'll let this dampen my excitement, I've spent all day (again!) trawling through catalogues, magazines and websites for pretty things for my flat and deciding where I'm going to go explore when I have the summer to spare in London... it's becoming my go-to activity to cheer myself up when I feel a bit shit. Now I'm going to hit the bath, chill out then hop into my freshly-changed bed, a nice end to a nice-enough day.

Hope you've all had a great bank holiday!